Now that machine gun arms are all the rage I’m reminded that I’ve never reviewed “The Last Love Song on This Little Planet”. No, there aren’t any extended scenes of gore and senseless violence in this one. It’s not exploitational or even mildly funny in any way. In fact it’s a full-fledged romantic drama where a teenage crush is just as, if not more important than the main character having cluster bombs stored where her spleen should be.

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Teru Aoki (Satoshi Tsumabuki) wakes up on the floor of a wrecked train car after some sort of explosion during a school trip. He soon realizes most of his classmates are dead. After fending off the attacks of an insane classmate named Nobuo (Takayuki Yamada) he escapes the tunnel with a girl named Ako Seto (Sayaka Kanda). To their horror there has been some sort of massive disaster outside, wiping out everything for as far as they can see in any direction. The two must stick together as they witness other survivors succumb to widespread insanity.

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Ever had one of those dreams where you’re trying your hardest to run from something but your legs just don’t want to work properly? That’s kind of the feeling I had the entire time I was watching Dragon Head; and while having completely inept main characters narrowly escaping impending doom at every turn while limping dramatically and whining can really ramp up the tension, it can also be downright frustrating. You get a nice preview of this brand of frustration when the main character stumbles 6 times and completely falls down with an emphatic “UNF!” 16 times in the first 10 minutes of the movie. That’s including the lengthy opening credits. And yes, I really did count. It can be a bit demoralizing when you realize the protagonist you’re going to be tagging along with through such a perilous journey is a completely useless klutz, but what he lacks in the ability to stay vertical for more then 7 seconds at a time he makes up for in a combination of determination and sheer inconceivable luck.

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